Rocky Mountain Proposal Page 19

  “She’s been up with Daisy since four o’clock this morning,” Aaron explained, irritated that the man gave so little consideration to Hope’s situation. “She’s probably exhausted.”

  “I’m fine, Aaron.” She half glared at him. “Really.”

  Bracing a hand on her arm, Jonas directed a triumphant smile Aaron’s way. “That’s my little farmer girl. You’re really something, Hope.”

  “Your little farmer girl?” Instant disdain swirled in Aaron’s stomach. Folding his arms at his chest, he sized up the man. “Did you grow up on a farm?”

  Jonas held his hand up. “Ease up, Drake. It was just an endearing expression.” The easy way he wrapped an arm around Hope’s shoulders yanked at Aaron’s control. “We used to do that all of the time, didn’t we?”

  An unconvincing half of a smile tipped Hope’s mouth as she peered up at Jonas. “So, how did you find your way out here, anyway?”

  “Mrs.—”

  “Duncan?” She kept an eye on the new calf, wobbling in an attempt to stand.

  Hargrave arched his dark eyebrows over his eyes. “So, Mrs. Duncan has a legendary reputation, eh?”

  “She means well,” Aaron put in, doing nothing to keep the irritation from his voice. He gave the heifer a pat then gathered the rope and bucket and squeezed around Hargrave to exit the stall.

  “I’m sure she does,” Jonas retorted with a superior chuckle.

  That pricked Aaron’s pride and also made him feel petty. He was a bigger man than to prove some point, prove himself. But jealousy’s bitter sting pierced deep.

  “She’s a wealth of information, that woman,” Hargrave continued trailing Hope as Aaron returned the items he’d used to their proper place. “I found out everything I needed to know, and I doubt our conversation was more than ten minutes.”

  “Jonas,” Hope braved, her voice taking on an odd, almost insecure tone—nothing like the Hope he’d discovered over these past weeks. “Did you get a chance to look around the farmstead when you arrived? It’s lovely, isn’t it?”

  “Perfect.” Hargrave raised his too-perfect eyebrows over his too-small eyes. “It’s probably worth a sizable amount of money.”

  Why that would be the first thing he thought of disturbed Aaron to no end.

  “I’ll have to introduce you to the animals and—”

  “How long do you think it’ll take you to get your chores finished? We could make it a noon meal if you like?”

  Incensed by Jonas’s complete disregard for Hope’s enthusiasm, not to mention Hope’s cowering behavior toward Jonas, Aaron stopped in his tracks at the wide-open barn doors and did a one eighty. “Tell you what, Hope, I’ll do the rest of your chores for you so that you can go and have your breakfast with Hargrave.”

  He’d been as good natured as could be in making that offer, but he couldn’t deny that a small part of him had laid it out before her just to see what she would choose.

  Jealousy, dark and ugly, had fanned to life, burning hot and bright, and almost as threatening as the fierce protectiveness he felt for Hope. He didn’t like feeling so spiteful, but there was something about Hargrave that didn’t sit right with Aaron. He wasn’t one to make rash judgments without good cause, but from the moment he’d met the man yesterday, he’d had a bad feeling. Hargrave’s intentions were in serious question and would continue to be so until he’d proven different.

  On a sigh, he realized that in the past few days things with Hope had been moving lightning fast. He felt himself slowly losing control over his heart. It was almost as if he was being pressed into making some kind of decision.

  Maybe God was giving him every chance to man up, to accept his past, his present and his future—to move on, even when he didn’t think he had it in him to do so. Grief and sorrow had been so near. As real and as heavy as those emotions were, he’d begun to wonder if moving on would take a conscious, determined decision and a final resolution with God.

  “Thank you, but I won’t be needing your help with the chores. This is my responsibility.” Her unspoken words hung heavy in her gaze…now that Jonas was here, she didn’t need Aaron any longer. “I’ll finish the chores then join Jonas for a noon meal.”

  But she did need him. When he’d shown up this morning, she’d nearly cried, wrought with worry over one of her beloved cows.

  And he needed her. He’d found more fulfillment over the past seven weeks than he had in months. Her sweet, loving ways had made him feel alive again.

  If he could, he’d burrow his gaze deep inside her soul to discover the truth of how she really felt. He’d felt the rapid beat of her heart and had heard her sigh when he’d kissed her, but he’d tried to convince himself that she wasn’t interested in him.

  “All right then,” he finally conceded.

  “I’ll be famished by the time I arrive, Jonas.” She slid her focus to Hargrave. “Would you mind ordering for me?”

  “I’d be glad to, my dear. It’ll be just like old times.” When Jonas gave her a wink, Aaron flexed his hands then curled them into rigid fists.

  Hope peered over the table at Jonas, willing herself to focus on him even though all she could seem to think about was Aaron. She’d been flabbergasted by Aaron’s behavior earlier when Jonas had paid a surprise visit at the farm. Aaron had been agitated last evening after play rehearsal, but this morning he’d been nothing if not rude.

  She couldn’t imagine why he was acting so out of sorts except for the fact that he was still traumatized by the kiss they’d shared. But was he always inclined to being so unwelcoming to strangers? He’d certainly exhibited a bias against her when she’d arrived in Boulder—he’d even admitted as much. If not for the promise he’d made to Paul, she doubted he’d have given her the barest compulsory nod.

  When she’d arrived at the hotel restaurant, she’d recounted the excitement of her morning, and Jonas had listened—with far more attentiveness than she’d expected. He’d seemed so sincere in his interest. His words had been understanding, eloquent, caring—contrite.

  But still, she couldn’t seem to get Aaron out of her mind.

  “Are you listening, my dear?” Jonas’s refined voice seeped into her thoughts.

  “I apologize.” She willed him her undivided focus as she took another sip of coffee. “What were you saying?”

  “I said that I would like to speak with you about something very important. If you’ll be so kind as to permit me,” he added with a coy grin that had the hair on the back of her neck standing soldier straight.

  Just then Jane appeared at the table’s edge—yet again startling Hope. She stuck the coffeepot in between them. “More coffee?”

  “No, thank you.” For the third time, Hope added silently as she bit off a frustrated groan—one that her mother would’ve thoroughly chastised her for.

  She tried to contain her irritation, but this was the tenth time Jane had shown up, bringing food, drinks and dessert and also checking to see if all was favorable. The woman had been as pleasant and amiable as Hope had ever seen.

  That, alone, was enough to make Hope wary.

  “I didn’t know you were waiting on tables here, Jane. I thought you’d been hired to do the baking.” She slid the last bite of her mouthwatering berry pie into her mouth.

  “We…um…we’ve been exceptionally busy today so I offered my services.” Jane fanned a hand down her flour-dusted apron. “I’m always willing to help out when there’s a need.”

  Remembering how unaccommodating Jane had been over the past weeks, how seemingly determined she was to stand back and watch Hope flounder in the deep waters of inexperience and regret, Hope had to force down her blaring protest.

  “Busy?” Hope glanced around the nearly empty restaurant. Two other waitresses stood behind the counter, boredom pulling at their young features as they gave a lackadaisical effort polishing silver stemware.

  “Absolutely everything was delicious, ma’am.” Jonas pressed the white linen napkin to his mouth. “
The best I’ve have in a long time and certainly another reason to be partial to the West.”

  A ruddy blush blotched from Jane’s neck to her cheeks. “I’m glad you enjoyed your meal, sir.”

  “I’ll take that bill when you have the time.” Jonas gave Hope a perceptive wink while Jane skittered off, moving with more stealth than a fox on the hunt. “She certainly is thoughtful.”

  “Jane puts a tremendous amount of thought into everything she does,” Hope diplomatically concurred, knowing, firsthand, how calculated the woman could be with her surprise visits, well-chosen words of discouragement and barbed looks.

  “Hope, my dear,” Jonas began as he laid his napkin on the table.

  She squirmed beneath the liberal use of my dear.

  “I know that this may seem a bit forward and abrupt—” he slid a finger down the crystal glass of water “—but I have something that I must say.”

  “Certainly.” She folded her hands in her lap, dread hallowing out a pit in her stomach.

  “I’ve been a fool for letting you go.” His matter-of-fact, statement hit her between the eyes. It stung deep.

  She stared in total disbelief. He hadn’t let her go. She’d let him go, and she’d been disparaged for doing so. In fact, the steady stream of derision aimed her way had been one of the main reasons she’d answered the mail-order bride advertisement. As much as she was ashamed to admit it, Paul had offered her a way of escape when he’d proposed marriage.

  “I’ve been lost without you all of these months. And I was wondering…” Reaching across the table, he laid his hand across hers, his fingers and palm lacking the telltale signs of hard work she’d found in Aaron’s touch. His seemingly rehearsed manner and the damp feel of his palm only added to her growing irritation.

  Jane skidded to a halt at their table and flattened a thick-fingered hand over the slip of paper as though it might blow away. “Here’s your check, sir.” She stared down at where Jonas clasped Hope’s hand, her mouth tipping in the faintest of smiles. “Are you sure there’s nothing else I can get for you?”

  “No, I don’t believe so.” The patience Jonas exhibited was a complete shock. In the past, he would’ve complained to the owner of the establishment by now. “Thank you, though. Your service has been very attentive.”

  Hope almost wished that Jane would sit down and join them, given the seriousness of Jonas’s words and the bold way he held her hand.

  “As I was saying,” he began again, leaning her way, his hand feeling like a fish that had flopped over her fingers and died right there in the middle of the table, “I was wondering if there was any chance you could find room for me in your heart again?”

  She tugged her hand from his. “Jonas, I—”

  “Please, don’t answer yet.” Holding up one clammy finger to her mouth, he paused for a long moment. “Only promise me that you’ll give it your utmost consideration.”

  She didn’t owe him a thing.

  But even so, she would commit to at least giving him that much. After all, she had to seriously look at what her future held. Although she could pine for Aaron, if she permitted such a thing of herself, she refused to be so weak. She’d come out to Boulder to start a new life, and although her path had taken an unforeseen turn at the outset, she had to make the best of it or decide to sell the place as Paul had made room for in his deed.

  Could it be that her relationship with Jonas had come full circle? She’d heard it said that God’s ways were higher than ours. Maybe Jonas arriving here was part of His ways.

  She swallowed past the instant apprehension constricting her throat. Could it be?

  “I will,” she finally said, ill at ease with the instant and triumphant grin that stretched across his face.

  “I’ll wait as long as you need.” He snaked a hand across the table, his long thin fingers wrapping around her arm. “I love you, Hope. And I want to spend the rest of my days with you.”

  But did she want to spend the rest of her days with him? He was charming, to be sure. He’d surprised her with his concern and gentle nature, and he’d obviously discovered goodness within himself that before had been sorely missing.

  But he’d not moved her to tears as Aaron had this morning when he’d helped Daisy. Nor had he made her laugh the way Aaron had when he’d allowed himself to relax around her. And he’d never caused her innermost parts to flail about with a single touch. In fact, she’d felt nothing with Jonas—not even the slightest tingle.

  She wasn’t so shallow to think that a relationship was based solely on physical sensations, but it was an integral part of attraction that she could no longer deny and one that she’d discovered had been missing with Jonas. There’d been no guarantee that she’d have found that in Paul’s touch, but she’d been committed to him, to growing in her love for him.

  Jonas hauled in an I’m-glad-that’s-over kind of sigh that only furthered her irritation. “We can sell this place, take the money and go back to Boston,” he remarked as he adjusted his cravat. “Where you belong.”

  Where she belonged?

  How could Jonas think that he could waltz in here and presume to know where she belonged? The very idea had her blood boiling so hot she felt ready to explode.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Eager to breathe in the fresh air after being cooped up with Jonas for the last hour and a half, Hope guided the team home. He’d been generous with his compliments and wholly respectful, but still she’d been impatient to leave the hotel restaurant—especially after he’d asked her if there was room in her heart for him.

  Bringing the wagon to a halt, she set the brake and climbed down from the seat. Spotting Aaron’s wagon parked on the far side of the barn, she started off in that direction, recalling how painfully clear he’d made it that he was unable to move his heart forward. She’d been so caught up in the moment, in the way he’d cherished her with that kiss and the way she’d quivered at his touch, that when he’d slapped reality in her face with his words, she’d clambered to keep her foothold.

  She’d considered Jonas’s request because of Aaron’s uncertainty—for a brief moment, anyway.

  Staring down at the hard-packed earth, her stomach pulled taut as she recalled how when she’d looked at Jonas—really looked at him—her pondering had come to a screeching halt. His charm could win any heart—any heart but hers. And he was dashingly handsome with his dark hair, chiseled features and winning smile, but something deep and wise, something pure and wholly profound was missing. He’d gone to church on occasion, but the solid comfort of knowing that he had a personal relationship with God was sorely missing.

  Despite the apparent changes he’d made, the stinging memory of his disdain after her family’s highly publicized misfortune, flapped about in her mind’s eye like a red flag of warning.

  “How was your meal?” Aaron’s voice broke into the discomforting thought.

  She looked up to see him standing in the barn doorway, his arms folded at his chest, his face an unreadable mask. “It was pleasant.”

  “Pleasant?” he echoed, his tone harsh.

  “Yes.” Uneasy, she hugged her arms to her chest. “Jane makes the most delicious baked goods.”

  “I’m not talking about the meal.” He leveled his gaze at her.

  Vulnerability snagged at her composure. “But you said—”

  “What happened with Hargrave?” he questioned, his tone charged with accusation. “Is he going to be sticking around?”

  She avoided his discomforting gaze and slipped around him, making her way back to the stall where Daisy and her new calf were resting. “I don’t know. Perhaps.”

  Aaron was close at her heels. “Jane said she saw Hargrave holding your hand.”

  She came to a sudden stop, her stomach growing tight at Aaron’s interrogating attitude. Hope could’ve carefully chosen her every move at the hotel or made a scene when Jonas had reached for her hand, but she didn’t have a thing to hide from Jane or anyone else. “She di
dn’t waste her time, did she?”

  “Well?” He came around to stand in front of her, jammed his fists on his trim waist. “Is she telling the truth?”

  The reproach and hurt she found in Aaron’s gaze tugged at her regret. “Yes, but why would this matter to you, Aaron?”

  When she edged around him to enter the stall, he reached out and grabbed the door, barring her way. “I happen to think that I have a right to know. After all, I promised that I’d take care of you.”

  “Please. Will you let me pass?” She struggled to keep her voice even and worked a swallow past the thick lump in her throat. “And will you finally release yourself from that silly promise? Honestly, there is no need to—”

  “Silly? It’s serious. At least it is to me.” He stepped aside and allowed her to enter. “When I give my word, it means something.”

  She gasped at the sight of the calf standing next to his mama, his knobby kneed legs holding up his sturdy body. “Aw…look at you standing, little one. Aren’t you adorable,” she whispered, amazed at the resilience of both mama and baby. “We’ll have to come up with a name for your baby, Daisy. Maybe Libby can help me with that at play rehearsal today.”

  “Libby would probably love that,” Aaron muttered, leaning against the doorframe, his gaze softening the slightest bit.

  Hope’s heart did a little flip flop at the way his utterly natural and masculine presence filled the room…and her heart.

  But she couldn’t keep subjecting herself to the heartache of yearning for something she couldn’t have.

  “Listen, Aaron,” she began, moving to stand opposite him in the doorway. “I am officially releasing you from your promise. You do not need to burden yourself with it for another moment.” She stacked her hands at her backside and leaned against the rough wood. “Paul was a dear to think enough of me to secure my future with a trusted friend, but I’m doing just fine.”

  “Fine?” he challenged, arching his eyebrows over his eyes. “Like this morning when you needed help with the calf?”